LET'S PLAY A GAME

"PatBateman" (PatBateman)
07/21/2014 at 22:44 • Filed to: most dangerous game

Our beloved Doug, according to his Twatting feed, will be back from vacation tomorrow. For his homecoming, we should give him something special. Something unique. Something OPPO. Tell him what he should replace his Ferrari with. There are some rules, though.

NUMBER ONE: Nothing more than $100k. He's a writer, and writers are "poor".

NUMBER TWO: It must be at least two years old. None of that new car exotic crap.

NUMBER THREE: It must be the two generations immediately before the current generation of vehicle. He has a 360, the current generation is a 458. You get the damn drift.

NUMBER FOUR: The car must not be something that a plebeian would drive.

NUMBER FIVE: It must be sold at CARMAX (ETA).

Impress me with your logic, magical OppoLock! Go forth, begin your google searches, and defeat Doug's girlfriend by suggesting something better than a hovercraft!

The winner lives to see dawn.

DISCUSSION (73)

Manuél Ferrari > PatBateman
07/21/2014 at 22:46

I thought he has a 360?

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > PatBateman
07/21/2014 at 22:47

HoverVAN, aha I'm a genius!

Brian Silvestro > Manuél Ferrari
07/21/2014 at 22:47

He does.

PatBateman > Manuél Ferrari
07/21/2014 at 22:48

OH GOD DAMMIT you're right. Changing rules.

For Sweden > PatBateman
07/21/2014 at 22:48

The most expensive Bentley he can afford.

Corey CC97, MAZDA DPI IS STILL BAE JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV VISIT FLORIDA RACING LIVES FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS > PatBateman
07/21/2014 at 22:50

treesmakewater > PatBateman
07/21/2014 at 22:51

would a late 80s 930/911 count? I mean its been the same car for ages. One in excellent condition with 40K miles can be found for about $70K. I don't see a pleb owning one due to its age, upkeep, and any misc costs/oddities .

PatBateman > norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback
07/21/2014 at 22:51

CARMAX ad or it didn't happen.

BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather > PatBateman
07/21/2014 at 22:52

Kinja'd!!!

An Audi TT-RS. Because APR.

leicester > PatBateman
07/21/2014 at 22:52

Pinzgauer

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > PatBateman
07/21/2014 at 22:52

Entire Top Gear episode. Enough proof is on that film.

Jcarr > PatBateman
07/21/2014 at 22:53

Kinja'd!!!

PatBateman > BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather
07/21/2014 at 22:54

Good answer!

PatBateman > Jcarr
07/21/2014 at 22:54

I think he's go for it. It's red.

PatBateman > treesmakewater
07/21/2014 at 22:55

I'll allow it. Bonus points of CarMax will give a warranty on it.

Manuél Ferrari > PatBateman
07/21/2014 at 22:56

You just proved why I can't the F430 :(

It's so similar to the 360 that they commonly get confused. You're the second person on Oppo today who said Doug had an F430.

Now I'll have to work harder and postpone the rest of life longer in order to buy the 458. But at least Silvestro will be happy. He's egging me on to get a blue 458

PatBateman > For Sweden
07/21/2014 at 22:56

Hmmmm... Interesting choice.

Manuél Ferrari > Jcarr
07/21/2014 at 22:57

This would be awesome. Going from the 360 to this car would be an interesting change. Both are impractical and have two seats. But they go about things in two totally different ways.

PatBateman > Manuél Ferrari
07/21/2014 at 22:57

GET. A. BLUE. 458.

NOW.

PS9 > Manuél Ferrari
07/21/2014 at 22:58

You can get one right now if you sign on to my 50% APR 288 Month auto loan! Pre approved!

Manuél Ferrari > PatBateman
07/21/2014 at 22:58

I wonder how much it costs to add the white nart stripes

Dsscats > PatBateman
07/21/2014 at 22:59

Audi R8! You can easily get a first gen V8 for under $90k now a days.. Bonus points for another gated shifter.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > PatBateman
07/21/2014 at 23:00

I think a bro-truck would go well with his new twitter account.

BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather > PatBateman
07/21/2014 at 23:00

Thank ye!

Manuél Ferrari > PS9
07/21/2014 at 23:01

Reduce the rate to 40% and you have a deal!

True story - I found a unicorn Lambo in Chicago last week and talked to the sales guy. Told him I would need a 144 month auto loan. He said he'd get back to me and never did. I guess that was too much of a pain. Nobody wants to give me sketchy financing...

It's a true unicorn too. 2nd gen Gallardo Spyder Performante with MANUEL inside

Jcarr > PatBateman
07/21/2014 at 23:01

Don't know if there are any first-gen ACRs at CarMax. On my phone and don't feel like checking. :)

Anon > PatBateman
07/21/2014 at 23:02

http://www.carmax.com/enus/view-car/…

The Mercedes CL600! Because 550 HP and 12 cylinders of German, FUCK YEAH! Also it only costs 35k.

Ryanator122 > PatBateman
07/21/2014 at 23:03

What does an early DB7, or DB9 run? Under 100k I think.

Leadbull > PatBateman
07/21/2014 at 23:04

A 996 GT3.

It's about time the FORMER CEO OF PORSCHE NORTH AMERICA drove something from Stuttgart.

Velocity- Peuguette Connoisseur > PatBateman
07/21/2014 at 23:06

http://www.carmax.com/enus/view-car/…

Hm?

Velocity- Peuguette Connoisseur > PatBateman
07/21/2014 at 23:09

http://www.carmax.com/enus/view-car/…

Cherry_man1 > PatBateman
07/21/2014 at 23:10

Shelby GT500? 2011 Model? Or 2012? In red? In GA as well.

Kinja'd!!!

PS9 > Manuél Ferrari
07/21/2014 at 23:11

I just calculated out what a 288 month 50% APR loan on a $278k 458 would cost. 12k/month for TWENTY FOUR YEARS. At the end of the loan term, you will have paid enough to buy 3 918s outright and have a nice house/garage built to house them all.

This is beyond predatory. I'm just going to call my Agency 'Prepare Your Anus Lending'.

Leadbull > Manuél Ferrari
07/21/2014 at 23:13

Please tell me you ate some deep dish while you were in Chicago.

PatBateman > Manuél Ferrari
07/21/2014 at 23:13

Probably about $10k.

PatBateman > Dsscats
07/21/2014 at 23:14

Nice. You may live to see the morning.

PatBateman > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
07/21/2014 at 23:14

I'm good with that.

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > PatBateman
07/21/2014 at 23:15

my uncle builds hovercrafts.

He could build a fucking badass hovercraft for $100k. (hint: a previous model had mortars for fireworks in the front)

PatBateman > Jcarr
07/21/2014 at 23:15

We'll assume that somewhere, there is.

PatBateman > beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard
07/21/2014 at 23:16

This sounds like a very fun vehicle. Especially with mortars.

Manuél Ferrari > PS9
07/21/2014 at 23:16

Sounds like a good deal to me!

Manuél Ferrari > Leadbull
07/21/2014 at 23:17

I never went. Saw it online. Couldn't fly to pick it up cause I was deigned before they even ran my credit!

PatBateman > Velocity- Peuguette Connoisseur
07/21/2014 at 23:18

I'd say the Jag.

Leadbull > Manuél Ferrari
07/21/2014 at 23:21

Go anyway.

After you eat some authentic Chicago deep dish, your definition of the word "pizza" will change.

Manuél Ferrari > PatBateman
07/21/2014 at 23:21

I just tried Googling it.

Couldn't find a US price

But I found the Aussie price:

http://www.drive.com.au/new-car-review…

$19K

But everything is always marked up for those poor bastards. It says the car itself is $550K. I think it's because they are right hand drive and because their government taxes luxury items to death.

It's good to live in Murica!

PatBateman > Ryanator122
07/21/2014 at 23:21

DB7: well under $100k

Manuél Ferrari > Leadbull
07/21/2014 at 23:22

I've had it before.

Going there in Sept. I'll make sure to have more!

I can eat a LOT. But a couple slices of deep dish and I'm done...

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > PatBateman
07/21/2014 at 23:22

sadly I don't think carmax will carry them. seeings as they're built to order. in Australia.

Leadbull > Manuél Ferrari
07/21/2014 at 23:25

Same here. On a good night, I can eat a whole pizza. But only about two slices of deep dish, if I'm lucky.

Manuél Ferrari > Leadbull
07/21/2014 at 23:26

Same. If I'm drunk I can eat a whole medium or most of a large pizza. If it's regular crust

But Chicago deep dish, holy balls...

Vicente Esteve > PatBateman
07/21/2014 at 23:27

This is a good game, and although my choices may not fit the criteria "exactly" they are downright awesome:

1. 2007 Porsche 911 Carrera Turbo 6 Spd Manual. He had the Italian supercar, now for the German practical one. +Warranty

http://www.carmax.com/enus/view-car/…

2. 2010 Chevrolet Corvette ZR1. The fastest Corvette ever. 6 Speed. Different from its Italian thoroughbred. +Warranty

http://www.carmax.com/enus/view-car/…

3. 2007 BMW 7 Series Alpina. Infinitely cool, though it isnt much of a drivers car, as much as a very quick Limo. Alpina wheels FTW!. +Warranty.

http://www.carmax.com/enus/view-car/…

4. 2011 BMW M1. Pretty self Explanatory. +Warranty

http://www.carmax.com/enus/view-car/…

5. 2012 BMW X6 M. Now, I know, it isnt a real BMW like the last one. But seriously, this would be one of the most interesting cars to read about in Dougs articles. +points for BATSHIT INSANE. +Warranty.

http://www.carmax.com/enus/view-car/…

6. 2013 Ford SVT Raptor. The one that will most likely lest depreciate, and something truly OPOSITE of the Ferrari. Should be cool reading about his off-roading stories. +Warranty.

http://www.carmax.com/enus/view-car/…

I think I gave every possible option!

PatBateman > Manuél Ferrari
07/21/2014 at 23:45

We get stuff cheaper here.

Still going with $10k stateside.

PatBateman > beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard
07/21/2014 at 23:46

Screw it. Mortar-firing hovercrafts for errbody!

PatBateman > Vicente Esteve
07/21/2014 at 23:49

I like the B7 and the X6 M. Stylish. Fast. Doug-ish.

Vicente Esteve > PatBateman
07/21/2014 at 23:51

Being honest, the X6 M is IMHO the best option for him.

PatBateman > Vicente Esteve
07/21/2014 at 23:54

Possibly. But how can one deny the Über 7 Series?!

Vicente Esteve > PatBateman
07/21/2014 at 23:54

Crap! Its too hard!

PatBateman > Vicente Esteve
07/21/2014 at 23:57

This is like a f*cked up riddle/task from the movie Saw.

Manuél Ferrari > PatBateman
07/22/2014 at 00:44

We have the best country in the world to be a consumer in, that's for sure!

StingrayJake > PatBateman
07/22/2014 at 01:37

I'll sell him my 2001 Silverado w/ 220,000 miles for $100k.

treesmakewater > PatBateman
07/22/2014 at 02:02

i don't think they keep anything more than 10 years old :/. Maybe one day I can find a newer replacement to my unreliable Audi that carmax has though XD.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > PatBateman
07/22/2014 at 02:12

I vote for anything with at least a v12. CarMax search engine is pissing me off.

Vicente Esteve > PatBateman
07/22/2014 at 08:43

BUT GERMAN

MonkeePuzzle > PatBateman
07/22/2014 at 10:20

hovercraft, is that some sort of euphemism? http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?ter…

PatBateman > MonkeePuzzle
07/22/2014 at 10:34

There's slang for something that's full of eels?!

MonkeePuzzle > PatBateman
07/22/2014 at 10:36

I intend to casually drop that somehow into a conversation today

office drone in breakroom: "hey Monkey, how are you"

Monkey: "oh good, got my TPS reports all done, but you know, my hovercraft is full of eels, so six of one half a dozen of the other, have a good day"

Doug DeMuro > PatBateman
07/22/2014 at 19:48

We are actually going to have to play this game soon. I'm starting to want a city car to replace the Cube. Price limit will be much lower though — more like $10k. Thinking manual X3? Open to ideas though. Needs to be snowable. Maybe worth a post soon.

PatBateman > Doug DeMuro
07/22/2014 at 21:45

Question: does it have to be from CARMAX? lol

Wacko > Doug DeMuro
07/23/2014 at 16:26

A Nissan DeMurano

Steve in Manhattan > StingrayJake
07/24/2014 at 16:47

You have to keep it until 240k - then you will have driven it to the moon.

StingrayJake > Steve in Manhattan
07/24/2014 at 18:24

I'm hoping to make 250k... and given my current financial situation that might be necessary

pip bip - choose Corrour > PatBateman
07/25/2014 at 08:58

Nissan Aprio from Mexico

Thiscrapsucks35 > PatBateman
07/25/2014 at 15:06

Please don't encourage this Ferrari-worshipping Ferrari guy.

His girlfriend must've thought "Uh, this again? It's always with the Ferrari"